Down With Love (2003)
Screenwriter(s): Eve Ahlert, Dennis Drake

"I Knew I Had To Do Something To Set Myself Apart"

In this long, single-shot monologue, early 1960s female empowerment book author (Down with Love) Barbara Novak (Renee Zellweger) gave a long convoluted explanation to lothario playboy Catcher Block (Ewan McGregor), a star reporter for Know, a men's lifestyle magazine, about her long quest to grab his attention and succeed with her own agenda. Meanwhile, Block had created a false alias as NASA astronaut Major Zip Martin in order to expose her fraudulent hypocrisy and humiliate her - and to seduce her.

In her monologue, after Martin revealed that he was Catcher Block and not Zip Martin, she one-upped him. She revealed that she was not Barbara Novak, but Nancy Brown, one of Catcher's former secretaries. While she had worked in the offices of Know for almost a month, she admitted that she had fallen in love with him. She refused a date with him when asked out, because she didn't want to be added to his long list of conquests. She then posed as Barbara Novak to gain his respect and prove to him that he had met his match:

I'm not gonna storm out of here, Catch. And I'm not gonna admit that you got Barbara Novak to fall in love, because I'm not Barbara Novak. There is no Barbara Novak....And I didn't fall in love with Zip Martin. I fell in love with Catcher Block. And that was a year ago, when for three and a half weeks, I worked as your secretary. I don't expect you to remember me. I wasn't a blonde then. But you did ask me out. And it broke my heart to say no, but I loved you too much. I couldn't bear to become just another notch in your bedpost. With your dating habits, I knew that even if I was lucky enough to get a regular spot on your rotating schedule, I would never have your undivided attention long enough for you to fall in love with me. I knew I had to do something to set myself apart. I knew I had to quit my job as your secretary and write an international best-seller, controversial enough to get the attention of a New York publisher as well as Know magazine. But insignificant enough that as long as I went unseen, Know magazine's star journalist would refuse to do a cover story about it.

I knew that every time we were supposed to meet, you would get distracted by one of your many girlfriends and stand me up, and this would give me a reason to fight with you over the phone and declare that I wouldn't meet with you for a hundred years. And then all I would have to do was be patient and wait the two or three weeks it would take for everyone in the world to buy a copy of my best-seller - and then I would begin to get the publicity I would need for you, to, one, see what I look like, and, two, see me denounce you in public as the worst kind of man. I knew that this would make you wanna get even by writing one of your exposés. And in order to do that, you would have to go undercover, assume a false identity and pretend to be the kind of man who would make the kind of girl I was pretending to be fall in love. And I knew that since I was pretending to be a girl who would have sex on the first date you would have to pretend to be a man who wouldn't have sex for several dates. And in doing so, we would go out on lots of dates to all the best places and all the hit shows, until finally, one night, you would take me back to your place - that you were pretending was someone else's - in order to get the evidence you needed to write your exposé, by seducing me until I said, 'I love you.' But saying 'I love you' was also my plan. I just wanted to tell you the truth so that when you heard me say, 'I love you' you would know that I knew who you were, and you would know who I was.

Then you, the great Catcher Block, would know that you'd been beaten at your own game by me, Nancy Brown, your former secretary. And I would have, once and for all, set myself apart from all the other girls you've known. All those other girls that you never really cared about, by making myself someone like the one person you really love and admire above all others: you! Then, when you realized that you had finally met your match, I would have, at last, gained the respect that would make you wanna marry me first and seduce me later. I just wanted you to hear all this from me before you heard it from your private eye.

Finding Nemo (2003)
Screenwriter(s): Andrew Stanton, Bob Peterson, David Reynolds

"Please Don't Go Away"

Play clip (excerpt):

Forgetful blue surgeon-fish Dory (voice of Ellen DeGeneres) begged not to be left by despairing clownfish Marlin (voice of Albert Brooks) from the Great Barrier reef, who was giving up the search for his abducted son Nemo (voice of Alexander Gould) in Sydney, Australia. Marlin feared that they were too late in rescuing Nemo, and he was returning home:

No. No, you can't. Stop! Please don't go away. Please? No one's ever stuck with me for so long before. And if you leave, if you leave, I just, I remember things better with you. I do. Look. P. Sherman, 42. (sighs) 42. I remember it. I do. It's there. I know it is because when I look at you I can feel it. And-and I-I look at you, and I - I'm home. (whispered) Please. I don't want that to go away. I don't want to forget.

Marlin sorrowfully replied: "I'm sorry, Dory, but I do."

Gigli (2003)
Screenwriter(s): Martin Brest

Which Sex Has the Most Desirable Form - A Vagina Monologue

Ricki (Jennifer Lopez) - a lesbian-leaning ("clam-licker") hitwoman, compared the relative merits and attractiveness of the male and female sex organs during a three-minute debate-argument with dim-witted chauvinistic mobster Larry Gigli (Ben Affleck), while she performed yoga in blue spandex shorts.

She offered a monologue of her description of the real power in the world (her vagina) when she told him the penis was overvalued:

So in review, you're saying that it's men that are at the top of the must-f--k pyramid...Loving, caring, sensitive giving men...(sigh) I don't care, you're entitled to your opinion, but let us reconsider women for a minute, shall we?...Their form, neck, shoulders, legs, hips, I think pretty cool.

Now, as far as your famous penis goes, the penis is like some sort of bizarre sea slug or like a really long toe. I mean it's handy, important even, but the pinnacle of sexual design, the top of the list of erotic destinations? I don't think so. One's first impulse is to kiss what? To kiss the lips. Firm, delicious lips, sweet lips surrounding a warm, moist, dizzingly-scented mouth. That's what everyone wants to kiss. Not a toe. Not a sea slug. A mouth. And why do you think that is, stupid? Because the mouth is the twin sister, the almost exact look-alike of what? Not the toe. The mouth is the twin sister of the vagina. And all creatures big and small seek the orifice, the opening, to-to be taken in, engulfed, to be squeezed, lovingly crushed by what is truly the all-powerful, all-encompassing -- no, if it's design you're concerned with, hidden meaning, symbolism, and power. Forget the top of Mount Everest, forget the bottom of the sea, the moon, the stars.

There is no place nowhere that has been the object of more ambitions, more battles than the sweet sacred mystery between a woman's legs that I am proud to call my pussy. So I guess this is just my roundabout way of saying that it is women who are in fact the most desirable form. Wouldn't you agree?

Kill Bill: Vol. 1 (2003)
Screenwriter(s): Quentin Tarantino

The Price For Bringing Up O-Ren Ishii's Mixed Half-Breed Nationality

One of the elite assassins in Bill's (David Carradine) Deadly Vipers Assassination Squad (DVAS), O-Ren Ishii (Lucy Liu), assumed power as the head of the bosses in Tokyo's underworld, a personal army called the Crazy 88. After being insulted by crime council member Boss Tanaka (Jun Kunimura) about her mixed Japanese-Chinese American nationality (calling her a "half-breed bitch" and a "perversion"), she severed the man's head with one swift sword swipe. Then she addressed the remaining council members:

So that you understand how serious I am, I'm going to say this in English. As your leader, I encourage you from time to time, and always in a respectful manner, to question my logic. If you're unconvinced that a particular plan of action I've decided is the wisest, tell me so, but allow me to convince you and I promise you right here and now, no subject will ever be taboo. Except, of course, the subject that was just under discussion. The price you pay for bringing up either my Chinese or American heritage as a negative is, I collect your f--king head. Just like this f--ker here. (She held up the severed head) Now, if any of you sons of bitches (loudly) got anything else to say, now's the f--king time! I didn't think so. (She dropped the head on the table, and then said calmly in Japanese) Gentlemen, this meeting is adjourned.

Love Actually (2003, UK)
Screenwriter(s): Richard Curtis

"Love Actually is All Around"

Play clip (excerpt):

The British Prime Minister (Hugh Grant), in a voice-over credits prologue, spoke about how "love is everywhere," with views of the arrivals terminal at London's Heathrow Airport where people were greeting each other, hugging and kissing:

Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinion's starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don't see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it's always there - fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know, none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge - they were all messages of love. If you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling you'll find that love actually is all around.

The Matrix Reloaded (2003)
Screenwriter(s): Andy Wachowski, Lana Wachowski

"This is Zion and We Are Not Afraid!"

Nebuchadnezzar hovercraft Commander Morpheus (Laurence Fishburne) believed in the power of messianic hero Neo (Keanu Reeves) and the Oracle rather than a military solution. He delivered a rousing, foreboding speech to the inhabitants of Zion, the last free city of mankind located underground, that was imminently threatened by Sentinel attack.

Morpheus addressed the persistence of rumors and threats at the temple gathering:

Zion, hear me. It is true, what many of you have heard. The machines have gathered an army and as I speak, that army is drawing nearer to our home. Believe me when I say we have a difficult time ahead of us. But if we are to be prepared for it, we must first shed our fear of it. I stand here before you now truthfully unafraid. Why? Because I believe something you do not? No! I stand here without fear because I remember.

I remember that I am here not because of the path that lies before me but because of the path that lies behind me. I remember that for 100 years we have fought these machines. I remember that for 100 years they have sent their armies to destroy us. And after a century of war, I remember that which matters most: We are still here! Tonight, let us send a message to that army. Tonight, let us shake this cave. Tonight, let us tremble these halls of earth, steel, and stone. Let us be heard from red core to black sky. Tonight, let us make them remember: This is Zion and we are not afraid!

Monster (2003)
Screenwriter(s): Patty Jenkins

"Like a Diamond In the Rough" - Escapist Dreams of a Future Serial Killer

After the film's opening title screen "Based On A True Story," female serial killer Aileen Wuornos (Charlize Theron) spoke in voice-over about her dreams of being a "big star" ever since she was a young girl. The victim of sexual abuse as a child, she turned to prostitution at the age of 13:

I always wanted to be in the movies. When I was little, I thought for sure, one day, I could be a big big star. Or maybe just beautiful. Beautiful and rich like the women on TV. Yeah, I had a lot of dreams. And I guess you could call me a real romantic because I truly believed that one day, they'd come true. So I dreamed about it for hours. As the years went by, I learned to stop sharin' this with people. They said I was dreaming, but back then, I believed it wholeheartedly. So whenever I was down, I would just escape into my mind, to my other life, where I was someone else. It made me happy to think that all these people just didn't know yet who I was gonna be. But one day, they'd all see.

I heard that Marilyn Monroe was discovered in a soda shop and I thought for sure it could be like that. So I started goin' out real young and I was always secretly lookin' for who was gonna discover me. Was it this guy? Or maybe this one? I never knew. But even if they couldn't take me all the way, like Marilyn, they would somehow believe in me just enough. They would see me for what I could be and think I was beautiful. Like a diamond in the rough. They would take me away to my new life and my new world, where everything would be different. Yeah. I lived that way for a long, long time. In my head, dreaming like that. It was nice. And one day, it just stopped.

Mystic River (2003)
Screenwriter(s): Brian Helgeland

Difficulty in Crying While Grieving the Death of His 19 Year-Old Daughter

In a moving scene set on his Boston-area porch, ex-con Jimmy Markum (Sean Penn) spoke to blue-collar worker friend Dave (Tim Robbins) about how he couldn't cry over the death of his murdered 19 year-old daughter Katie (Emmy Rossum):

It's nice isn't it? To sit out here...I couldn't stand lookin' through the fridge tryin' to find room for all that food we're gonna throw away in the next few days... I just can't let anything get f--ked up in these next few days, cause that's all anybody will remember about. There's one thing you could say about Katie even when she was little - that girl was neat.

When I got outta the joint, you know, after Marita died, I remember I was more afraid of my little daughter than I ever was of bein' in prison. I loved her, the most. 'Cause when we were sittin' in that kitchen that night, it was like we were the last two people on earth. You know, forgotten, unwanted. And it's really startin' to piss me off, Dave, because I can't cry for her. My own little daughter and I can't even cry for her... I just want to hug her one more time. She was nineteen f--kin' years old.

Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003)
Screenwriter(s): Ted Elliott, Terry Rossio, Stuart Beattie, Jay Wolpert

Compelled By Greed and Now Consumed By It

Cursed Captain Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) gave a vivid explanation of his acquisition of the Aztec gold coins/treasure to his captive Elizabeth Swann/"Turner" (Keira Knightley) on his pirate ship the Black Pearl:

There be the chest. Inside be the gold. And we took 'em all. We spent 'em and traded 'em and frittered 'em away on drink and food and pleasurable company. The more we gave 'em away, the more we came to realize, the drink would not satisfy, food turned to ash in our mouths, and all the pleasurable company in the world could not slake our lust.

We are cursed men, Miss Turner. Compelled by greed, we were, but now we are consumed by it. There is one way we can end our curse. All the scattered pieces of the Aztec gold must be restored and the blood repaid. Thanks to ye, we have the final piece.
(Elizabeth: "And the blood to be repaid?")
That's why there's no sense to be killin' ya, yet.

Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003)
Screenwriter(s): Ted Elliott, Terry Rossio, Stuart Beattie, Jay Wolpert

You're In a Ghost Story

After stabbing Captain Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) unsuccessfully in the heart and trying to escape from his ship, prisoner Elizabeth Swann (Keira Knightley) was seized and forced to look at the skeletal forms of the Captain's crew of 'undead' pirates in the moonlight:

Look! The moonlight shows us for what we really are! We are not among the living, and so we cannot die. But neither are we dead! For too long, I've been parched of thirst and unable to quench it. Too long I've been starvin' to death and haven't died. I feel nothin'. Not the wind on my face nor the spray of the sea, nor the warmth of a woman's flesh. (He reached for her, his hand turning skeletal) You best start believin' in ghost stories, Miss Turner. You're in one!