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Bananas
(1971)
In actor/director Woody Allen's early anarchic slapstick
comedy:
- the opening scene of the play-by-play commentary
of a Latin-American president's "live, on-the-spot assassination",
in the Republic of San Marcos, on the outdoor palace steps for
ABC's Wide World of Sports - provided by sportscaster announcer
Howard Cosell (Himself), as he asked the dying leader: "Well,
of course, you're upset, and that's understandable under the circumstances.
l guess now you'll have to announce your retirement"
- the scenes of clumsy, anxiety-ridden nerd Fielding
Mellish (Woody Allen) serving as a guinea-pig for his company's strange
inventions as a consumer product tester with a malfunctioning, sedentary
exercise-machine ("The Execu-cisor")
- aspiring playboy Fielding's nervous purchase of a
porno magazine (camouflaged by other more intellectual publications
such as Time Magazine, Commentary, Saturday Review, and Newsweek)
and his embarrassment when a shop dealer made it obvious to other
respectable, disapproving customers that he was purchasing a pornographic
magazine and his cringing when his order was screamed out by the
clerk: ("Hey Ralph? How much is a copy of Orgasm?...Orgasm.
This man wants to buy a copy. How much is it?"); Fielding stuttered:
"Doing a sociological study on perversion. l'm up to advanced
child molesting"
- Fielding's unsuccessful attempt and cowardice to protect
an old woman during a subway mugging by two thugs (including a young
Sylvester Stallone in his screen debut)
- his breakup with red-headed radical Nancy (Louise
Lasser) and his whining: (Fielding: "How am I immature?" Nancy: "Well...intellectually,
emotionally and sexually." Fielding: "Yeah, but in what
other ways?")
- the scenes of Fielding's involvement as a fake-bearded
revolutionary guerrilla in a tiny Latin American banana republic
of San Marcos as the guest of dictator Gen. Emilio M. Vargas (Carlos
Montalban)
- the scene of nebbish Fielding viewing a half-naked
woman clutching her left breast and crying out: "I got bitten
by a snake" - after he had learned about first-aid treatment
for snakebite: ("In the event of snake-bite, you make an incision
and you suck out the poison - remember, you suck out the poison");
with a huge grin on his face, he pursued her greedily and lasciviously,
and was followed by the rest of the rebel camp
- the scene of a dinner toast when he tensely began
chewing on his glass
- his to-go ordering of almost one thousand grilled
cheese sandwiches and seven hundred cups of coffee for his troops
at a lunch counter during a South American revolution before being
installed as El Presidente
- the grossly inappropriate speech to upper class dignitaries
given by Fielding, now El Presidente of San Marcos and wearing a
ridiculous fake red beard, at a high society fundraiser: "Uh,
we have more locusts than...uh, locusts of all races and creeds.
These, these locusts, incidentally, are available at popular prices.
And so, by the way, are most of the women of San Marcos..."
- his US trial scene in which he cross-examined himself
and objected to the judge during his trial for treason in the US:
("l object, Your Honor. This trial is a travesty. lt's a travesty
of a mockery of a sham of a mockery of a travesty of two mockeries
of a sham. l move for a mistrial. Do you realize there's not a single
homosexual on that jury")
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Speech as President of San Marcos (With Fake Beard)
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Trial for Treason
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- the closing televised Fielding Mellish Honeymoon
Night broadcast (on Wide World of Sports) that was viewed as a
boxing match by commentator Howard Cosell, in which Nancy admitted:
"Well, Howard, it all went by so fast. I just had no idea that
it would be so quick, really. I was expecting a longer bout... Well,
as you know, l'm extraordinarily ticklish so l had a kind of a rough
time there. l couldn't stop laughing...And you know, l thought it
would really get in my way. But l really trained well for this and
l think it sort of held me, so there really wasn't any time that
l didn't feel in complete control." Then she added: "The
timing was a little off, but l think he'll be fine. I mean, he's
not the worst l've had. Not the best, but not the worst"
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Play-by-Play of Latin-American Assassination
Fielding Mellish as Consumer Product Tester
Awkward Purchase of a Porn Magazine
Subway Mugging
Offering to Suck Out the Poison
To-Go Order of Grilled Cheese Sandwiches and Coffee
Honeymoon Night: Boxing Match
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